Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
