She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
