I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
