I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
