haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
