you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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