Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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