There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
This baby is an asshole
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
