I wish my penis had an off switch
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
