my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
