dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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