Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize