Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize