I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
