I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
