I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
