I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
why is half of my head shaved?
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