I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
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