you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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