why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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