Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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