champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
