This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
