Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
