I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
