i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
