We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
