i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
