I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
