It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
