Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
