I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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