I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
