Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
