How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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