Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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