you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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