How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
