I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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