I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
