Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
