Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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