My friends, they love my intelligence
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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