the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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