I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
