also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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