She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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