I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
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