I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize