Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
