just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
