fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
