I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize