I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i drank out of a bidet.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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