is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
